Well... I've been dealing with a huge issue in my life, of my own making. It started this past year, having my own facebook groups. Helping others on social media. Checking back all day long to see if people are "there", seeing if people are commenting and making community. They...they really are not...Then I started small groups that meet twice a month and opened another place on social media...They having met each other, they are slowly making community. I am contributing to both groups and the blog and other streams all morning long...and checking back into the last minutes of my day. How many? How many? How many...Til I crashed....I wanted community and I do not have it...I want numbers and I don't have them...people follow the food and I just don't post about cooking...or show off food....I struggle with food, so I make it a low profile...I'm about the business of supporting weight loss with different levels of help.
4/28/17 Mornings became something I dreaded and started hitting the snooze...and checking my phone...It went on and on til I felt like I had nobody to get up for! That was an eye-opening moment...and then I stumbled upon a gal who also hit snooze to avoid her life and changed that negative to a positive through 5,4,3,2,1...#5secondrule.
Slowly I've stopped all of that and gotten back to my voice. Gotten back to developing my own voice and words that I carry to others. I know there are at least 50 local people I help with groups and 50 people who subscribe....here. I know that countless others linger in the silence.
I take the time now to write in the mornings, like this. Share my life as honestly as I can. After a stumble, I dust off and right myself and then might share if it fits. I'm a real person, a really normal one. I know what I can do and can't do with food. I understand that things need to be very clear and strict for me. I seek to be at peace and acceptance with that. I want to help people really change.
I take the time to write these things down often.
Fri morning, April 28th...