It's been 3 years 4 months and a few days since I had a donut, but who is counting right?
It started out as a diet, all over again, another diet. I went reluctantly, because I always gain back my weight. I was all the way back up at 230 lbs. I was obese, and depressed and isolated by my own shame. I reached for the donuts to cope or maybe for hunger, because I was always hungry.
I've spent most of my life dieting it off and then slowly gaining it all back while I tried desperately to stop myself, only to finally give in and give myself over to the food once again.
So when the call came to partner up and diet with my cousin I went along, FOR HER. What started out as another diet, started to work with in a week. I removed bad carbs and it's true in a week's time you will feel SO MUCH BETTER...I began to remember just how good you can feel.
At about a month I was seeing the light again! "WOW, this way of eating really agrees with my body and I DO like the food!" I'd removed the controlling foods, the demanding foods and my hunger diminished. I felt such relief! One morning I came to the conclusion I simply could NOT go back, EVER AGAIN.
Todays highly processed sugar filled foods and fast foods really led me into food addiction. I'm sure I am a carb addict. The way I use to behave is too embarrassing to tell. When I decided I couldn't go back I admitted addiction to myself.
What started out as a diet separated me from addictive foods and admitting I had a control problem with those foods was the best step I've ever made. It was the truth that's set me free. I was able to slowly work through lingering food behaviors and still do. But there is a freedom that comes from admitting I have A REAL PROBLEM...
It WAS the food to a large degree. Because when I saw it as harmful to my well being and kept to clean lower carb foods, whole foods and no sugar I remained in control. I pick foods I love and enjoy now and I use myself control and goals to keep me on the path.
I pass plates of donuts like the photo above. A warm fuzzy feeling does in fact wash over me. I smile and just keep walking. I love my life way too much to give it back over to the food.